This really whomps!1
I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad
gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwhacking, hornswaglin,
cracker croaker2 is goina tell me what I kin or kin’t say. I
kin say what I wants caz its [Freedom of speech] is my SUPREME
BEING3 given right.
Who duh this young whippersnapper4,5
think he is? And what the {who|hey|heck|f#(%} was he doin’ lollygagging around between study
hall and tennis? My taxes pay for his eduktion. Wait a sec; TENNIS? What the
…….. Whoosh! Sorry, Ma taught me better, and Pa said that “Profanity is the
crutch of the inarticulate Motherf**ker”
Speaking of which, I really don’t need to listen to
someone who says “f..k” in the place of “uh”. “uh” is bad enough and what are you
going to say when you really need to
curse. Like when your car breaks down, does screaming “YOU CUTE KITTY CAT, YOU SAINTED
CUDDLY GRANDMOTHER…” relieve the frustration? And
“Water your Geraniums” doesn’t have the emotional charge of “Piss Off”. Then again
“Go crossbreed your Ophrys apifera6” or “Jo
Mommas’ a Ophrys7” is likely to get you killed even if they don’t
understand the reference, and if they do…
Young master Hatch’s idea of suggesting {an ultimatum to
his peers} to people that they don’t cuss is good (in my opinion), as long as
it remains suggestion. But as legislation it would be unenforceable, wrong, and
unconstitutional (that word {Constitutional} is a reasonable cuss word to some
people). What is the impact of a Proclamation? And only for the first week of
March? Also, who decides which words are profane and/or objectionable and how
will this information be passed on to the public? Billboards would be good.
Cussing in the workplace:
On cussing in general:
1 Word invented by “T. J.” on
“Recess” to avoid Real swear words (S2/E19,
1999).
2 “Gaby Johnson”, “Blazing Saddles”.
3 Insert appropriate deity's designation for your frame of
religious reference (Make sure of your choice. It could be important. It will
always offend someone.).
Often replaced by:
4 vulgar adjective used to color (qualify) the subject in an
unfavorable light
5 (phrase) two word vulgarity for sizing or typifying an anatomical
orifice used (primarily) for excreting fecal material
6 The flowers are almost exclusively self-pollinating in the
northern ranges of the plants distribution, pollination by the solitary bee Eucera
occurs sometimes in the Mediterranean area.
7 referred to as the "Bee orchids" due to the flowers of
some species resemblance to the furry bodies of female Bumble
Bees and other insects. It has flowers that look and smell so much like female Bumble
Bees that males flying nearby are irresistibly drawn in by this
chemical signal, stimulating them sexually. The insect gets so excited that he
starts to copulate with the flower.
Table
1 Cussing Scale
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
Dad
gum it
|
Deng
it
|
Dammit
|
Gall
darn it
|
God Damn It
|
Crap
|
Holy
crap
|
Sh*t
|
Holy
Sh*t
|
Holy F..king Sh*t
|
Stupid
Idiot
|
Ahole
|
Dumb
F..k
|
F..ing
A$$hole
|
Motherf..ker
|
